“I sit here amongst others and wonder at the emotion of that time, sitting alone in my
study at home. The
sadness fills me still. What I really want is to have the
music tell Heather’s story and mine too. Whether
it does or not is up to others to tell, at another time.
It is sufficient to say that here is my honest
outpouring and my heartfelt emotion and my only request is that when others
play this work they will do so with a sense of that honesty and emotion. This is not music to evoke pity though it may evoke
sadness. It is not music to evoke pain but it may bring a sense of hurt to those who have experienced this type of tragedy or
maybe any type of tragedy that reflects the pointless waste of a human life.”
Hultgren
The introduction to my doctoral work
When I commenced my doctoral journey to investigate why I compose I had little understanding of what would unfold before me.
There was an awareness that what I would 'find' would be about the music but little awareness that what I would find would be
more about me, my environment and my life's journey.
My previous investigations in this area told me I was on a spiritual quest – possibly my own 'enlightenment' process.
I even suggested that "I feel most aware of the spiritual" when I am "(active) as a musician, teacher and as a father."
What that told me most solidly was that my music making and especially my composing was an autobiographical outpouring
and one that was shaped by my life and those in it but also one that shaped that life and people.
As the doctoral journey continues I am finding more and more that the spotlight on my work is in fact a spotlight on
my life because it snapshots part of me and in the background, but most often and even the foreground of all snapshots
are others and their stories intertwined with mine. It's reasons such as that that have prompted me to use video to
introduce this thesis – a more present and personal medium for what is a quite personal investigation.
Equally, it seems appropriate that this introduction should be made in my home and especially here, in the place
where much of the investigation has been assembled. I sit here and write a daily journal – my life's journey I guess.
I sit over there and write about this research activity. But, I sit anywhere and write music!
This is where my life is, where my precious family live and come to visit and where my wife Julie and I welcome
friends and colleagues to share the joy which life brings. I welcome you also.
I welcome you to consider why I compose and that is centred firstly on the pieces themselves. There is a folio
of works that covers a broad landscape of styles and musical and technical demands. The major case study is a work
that is also investigated via a text based narrative. Underpinning all of this is an academic backbone that ensures
a rigorous interrogation of method and content.
All such matters are considered more fully in the introduction to how to navigate this site.
At the end of this video, click the button below it and enter the journey of why I compose along with me.
Text accompanying the video 